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If you ask people what they fear most in any social situation most will tell you that it's no not knowing how to behave. They'll be fine about the basics, but it's those little niceties - how to introduce yourself, what to ask for as an aperitif, how to address someone, for instance which can suddenly reveal you as a parvenu. William Hanson gives us a quick trip through the essentials in a book which is very readable and - in places - hilariously funny.

There To start with there are explanations of where the word 'etiquette' comes from, and making small talk and good impressions when you meet people. I was fascinated to find out the originals of the handshake, and slightly embarrassed when I read the list of words which you should not use. Dinner parties are covered in some detail including the correct placement of cutlery. Pudding (no - it's not ''dessert'') spoons and forks do not go at the top of the setting, by the way - and there's even a nice way of reminding a gentleman that he has not passed the port.

Eating is always something of a giveaway but Hanson tells us what to do - or not do - on a range of food from artichokes through to toast. You did know that you should break a piece off rather than slathering the whole slice with butter, didn't you? Good! After food the next major obstacle is clothing and there's are hints (well, actually, itthey's re a little stronger than that...) about what you should wear on various occasions. Do remember that 'brown' and 'town' might rhyme, but they should never be found together.

There's a foray into the pitfalls of social media but one senses that Hanson's instinctive advice would be ''don't''. He's rather more at home on hatching, matching ( I never knew that there were so many ways of getting a wedding invitation wrong) and dispatching, along with the joys of The Season. Crowning it all is advice on how to behave in the presence of royalty. You'll probably chuckle about the improbability of John Humphrys getting a knighthood - or even a lunch luncheon invitation to the Palace.

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