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Gary Irvine only wants two things out of life. He'd like to have children and he wants to reduce his gold golf handicap. Nothing extraordinary there, you might think except for the fact that his wife, Pauline, is planning to leave him for a self-made carpet millionaire and Gary is a dreadful golfer. His handicap is eighteen – but I'm not entirely certain how he got it down to that level in the first place. His family doesn't give him much solace either. His brother Lee is on the fringes of the local criminal underworld and hasn't the wit to keep himself out of trouble with Ranta Campbell, the local overlord. Ranta could be quite likeable if it wasn't for his penchant for a certain type of violence designed to keep the others in line rather than to teach the victim a lesson.
Being hit on the head by a speeding golf ball certainly changed Gary's life. The good part was that in a matter of just a few months he became a scratch golfer, broke the Club record and entered for the Open. The other side effects weren't quite so pleasant. Under stress he has a rather nasty case of Tourette's syndrome (and a vocabulary of Glaswegian obscenities to make that particularly trying for those who weren't expecting it). He also has Kluver-Bucy syndrome. I'll save you looking that one up. The symptom which is causing Gary particular problems is best defined (in polite company) as hyper sexuality – and Gary has a habit of finding himself in polite company whilst having certain overwhelming needs.
