Jordan shows us how to recognise the unhealthy practices we've learned and then how to ''unlearn'' them and replace them with practices which will form healthy relationships: he even - at the end of the book - gives us a 'recipe' for a healthy relationship.
''Learn to Love'' should be a quick read, but it's heavy on content and if you're serious about making changes you will have to do a lot of homework, a lot of honest thinking. I started to the book with a culprit in mind - an abusive, controlling parent - but was shocked to find that my experiences as a 'victim' had not left me immune to the expectation that I could control. From thinking that the book would vindicate me, I came to the conclusion that there were quite a few areas where ''I'' could - must - make improvements.
The book concentrates on 'love' life - intimate personal relationships - but I found myself considering my friendships and how my own experiences affected those relationships and I've areas I need to work on there too. This is one of the most thought-provoking books I've read for a long time. There were areas which I found painful, and I found a well of anger which I hadn't appreciated was there, and which needs to be emptied.