The Interview: Bookbag Talks To Spadge Whittaker About Confessions of Modern Women

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The Interview: Bookbag Talks To Spadge Whittaker

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Summary: Jill thought that Confessions of Modern Women was both fun and funny to read and occasionally bawdy to boot. There was a lot to chat about when Spadge popped into Bookbag Towers to chat to us.
Date: 6 April 2017
Interviewer: Jill Murphy
Reviewed by Jill Murphy

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Jill thought that Confessions of Modern Women was both fun and funny to read and occasionally bawdy to boot. There was a lot to chat about when Spadge popped into Bookbag Towers to chat to us.

  • Bookbag: Hi Spadge. It's great to see you again! What have you been up to since we last met?

Spadge Whittaker: Hi Bookbag-babes, the most important thing I did over the past 18 months is get married! Who'd have thought (my mother, definitely, because she bribed him with some noise cancelling headphones, which he refuses to take off). I claim that it was my new found publishing skills that seduced him. I also read an entire book a week last year, which kept me very busy and inspired.

  • BB: What gave you the idea to write Confessions of Modern Women?

SW: I was actually proofreading a sociology essay (yes, that's right; I know how to party) and was horrified to discover a book in existence titled Manners. It was essentially an instruction manual for women in the nineteenth century, telling them how to behave in public and I couldn't help but think to myself, I'm pretty sure I do the exact opposite of these things? And became intrigued as to how many other women would feel the same way. That's how COMW was born.

  • BB: How easy was it to recruit your Megababes?

SW: I decided to ask 50 different women to confess their sins around ten popular topics. Out of those 50, around 30 replied with stories, and to this day I am not sure which of them took the time to fill it out. I was pleasantly surprised at the bravery of some of the responses, particularly in the *cough* romance... section! The stories came out much easier than I had expected them to, unlike certain sex toys.

  • BB: How long did it take to put the book together? And how hard was it to choose which confessions made the cut?

SW: After collecting the extremely useful and hilarious data from fellow failures, I mean women, I only really gave myself a month to put the book together. I voice my own opinion a lot in my writing and this time I wanted to do something different; I wanted to reveal a kind of hidden unity amongst women. I had some help narrowing down confessions that 1. Made people laugh. 2. Were easy to relate to. 3. Made people feel slightly more comfortable about their own faux pas.

  • BB: As a Modern Woman who falls down completely on all things grooming - except for mole hairs - I have to ask: what on EARTH are HD brows? And should I covet them?

SW: Haha, I'm with you there, for sure. HD brows stands for high definition brows, which I believe is a type of brow dyeing experiment that leaves you looking like a mixture of Angelina Jolie and Bert from Sesame Street. An unexpectedly successful trend amongst millennials.

  • BB: Do you think social media profiles will ever evolve to show our lives as they actually are? And would it be a good thing if they did?

SW: One of my Instagram friends posted a photo this morning saying "Love when the sun comes out and highlights how dirty my window are", and it made me way more happy than it should have. Was it an inspiring photo? Possibly for the niche audience of window cleaners following the hashtag #windowscum, but I found it extremely refreshing and a little bit uplifting. I think it would make people happier and less depressed than surrounding themselves with false perfection everywhere they turn.

  • BB: If you could wave a magic wand and make one improvement in the lives of modern women, what would it be?

SW: I have so many ideas for improvements, honestly. I would ban the invention airbrushing, I would turn high heels into a sponge-like substance, I would design the female body with the G-spot on the outside. But, the overall winner would be - eliminating the need to poop. Seriously, more than the G-spot thing, that's how stressful I find pooping.

  • BB: What's next for Spadge Whittaker?

SW: I need to go to the Post Office before it closes.

  • BB: And finally, would you agree that mole hairs are super villains? (This is a very important question.)

SW: For sure! One time I definitely heard one plotting world domination.

  • BB: I think you're going to have to run to make the post, Spadge...

You can read more about Spadge Whittaker here.

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