Be a Happier Parent with NLP by Judy Bartkowiak

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Be a Happier Parent with NLP by Judy Bartkowiak

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Category: Home and Family
Rating: 4/5
Reviewer: Ruth Ng
Reviewed by Ruth Ng
Summary: Lots to think about from this book which is really looking at ways to change the parent, rather than 'fixing' the child!
Buy? Yes Borrow? Yes
Pages: 256 Date: January 2011
Publisher: Teach Yourself
External links: Author's website
ISBN: 978-1444110562

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Babies, unlike new cars, don't come with a manual. There are always plenty of people, each with their own unique advice, happy to stick an oar in on whatever parenting issues you're facing, but I have often found as a mum that I'm left confused and floundering, wondering which piece of conflicting advice is least likely to permanently damage my little ones! I've watched Supernanny. I've read about how to have a contented baby. So seeing this book, with such a nice, positive title, I had to give it a go!

NLP, or Neuro Linguistic Programming, is a way of changing the way you think about things, or the way you approach situations in your life. I had expected lots of tasks aimed at my children, ways to encourage sharing or following instructions or sleeping through the night perhaps, but it turned out that most of the book is for the parent to work on themselves, and then be able to share those skills with their children. My friend tried out one suggestion with her little boy who was one day ignoring her every request. I told her in the book about the idea of just using one word instructions, so the child is instantly turned off by the long rambling parental moan that gets louder and crosser every minute that it's ignored, and instead you just go for the key word, like 'teeth!' or 'shoes'! Her little boy, after having ignored all her previous attempts to get his attention, immediately responded to this one word request. Whether it will continue to work is another matter...

The book clearly takes you through the background of NLP, in quite a straightforward manner, and is full of practical exercises that you can do to immediately begin working on your self esteem, time management skills and motivating you towards creating a happier family life. I found the tone of the book easy to read, and it's divided into sections that mean you're not reading huge chunks of text in one go. The exercises might sometimes make you feel a little silly (for instance, walking along an imaginary life time line in your living room), but you don't have to do them when anyone else is at home! My one quibble would perhaps be that the book is aimed specifically at women for the most part and perhaps any fathers would feel somewhat excluded.

There are exercises you can work through with your children too, and practical advice and support. I especially liked the sections towards the end that deal with some specific childhood issues, such as moving house, or the arrival of a new sibling, giving guidance and help for these difficult situations.

Although it isn't full of jargon, there are some key phrases and ideas that sometimes felt a little uncomfortable as I read, like the language you get in management textbooks, but it wasn't too awful, and didn't put me off reading. I'm not sure it's made any significant impact on my parenting skills as yet, but there were certainly some interesting ideas that I've stored away in my head, ready to use as required!

For less of a psychological approach, and more of a physical, fun approach to parenting, do take a look at The Art of Roughhousing: Good Old Fashioned Horseplay and Why Every Kid Needs It by Anthony T DeBenedet and Lawrence Cohen

Buy Be a Happier Parent with NLP by Judy Bartkowiak at Amazon You can read more book reviews or buy Be a Happier Parent with NLP by Judy Bartkowiak at

Buy Be a Happier Parent with NLP by Judy Bartkowiak at Amazon You can read more book reviews or buy Be a Happier Parent with NLP by Judy Bartkowiak at


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