We Need To Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver

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We Need To Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver
Genre: Literary Fiction
Reviewer: Ekaterina Rodyunina
Summary: Most likely men will not find much for themselves in this book, but I wholeheartedly recommend it to every woman. However please prepare for quite radical and subjective opinions on motherhood and family.
Buy? Yes	Borrow? Yes
Format: Paperback 500 pages
Publisher: Serpent's Tail May 2006
ISBN: 978-1852424671
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We Need to Talk About Kevin is not one of your read-it-forgot-it books. Granted, it is about love, and loss, and finding the meaning - but it is one of those rare books that capture you despite the main idea, not because of it. In no time you are commiserating someone or something that society (you including) normally finds abhorrent.

Eva is a 'lucky' mother of a teenager who, one bright weekday morning, has ordinarily shot sixteen of his classmates and is sent to jail. Three years later, alone and an obvious outcast in her now smaller neighbourhood, she starts writing seemingly nonchalant, but in fact desperate letters to her husband, trying to reconstruct the chain of events and understand how her life got to this point.

Let's just get one thing straight. Eva does not justify what her son did. There is no my sweet boy would never have done it silver lining. She never wanted to have a son in the first place. She hated pregnancy. She shrugged off fear and disgust taking care of him. In short, she found the motherhood thing to be less than satisfactory, more about tolerating than nurturing, more about hiding anger than caring.

Well didn't her efforts pay off really nicely?

It is customary in our society to expect mothers' immediate adoration for their offspring. The feeling of belonging, infinite love, supposedly the best feeling in the world.

But what if you don't have it? You cannot have motherhood ecstasy insured and claim a refund if it does not live up to expectations. What is to be done when all you want is to have your previous life back?

Surely intense dislike of your own son is not something to be proud of, and Eva isn't. She is in fact portrayed as a very sensible, well-educated, open-minded, reflecting and - surprisingly - loving person.

What is the matter then? Why does she hate her son so much but still visits him in jail? Where is her husband? Why does he never write back? And the burning question - why all the killings?

This book offers a little bit of everything - family, romance, loneliness, patriotism, forgiveness, but most importantly it is just as controversial as it is convincing, so as to keep you wondering what would I do if I was her?

Most likely men will not find much for themselves in this book, but I wholeheartedly recommend it to every woman. However please prepare for quite radical and subjective opinions on motherhood and family.

Indeed a thought-provoking book and definitely something to discuss with your friends.

For another book which looks at the pleasures and pain of being a parent we can recommend The Battle for Christabel by Margaret Forster

Comments

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Magda said:

Well, yes. I find that there is either this idea of the wonderfullnes that overcomes all obstacles. Or a nightmare of lost identity, sleepless nights, sagging boobs and other petty concerns of selfish teenagers that are mentioned as a warning.

One thing, I found, that nobody really tells is how excruciatingly boring most of the time being with small children (and, sadly, with their mothers too) is.

With the Kevin book, though. I wonder, isn't one of the main themes there the nurture/nature thing? The question whether she didn't love him enough & made him into what he became or whether he was, by himself, organically, unlovable & fundamentally psychopatic?

Magda

Katya replied:

Thanks for the comment. I don't have a slightest idea whether being with kids is indeed boring or not, as I don't have children of my own and none of my friends admitted to being bored with their own kids - must be a part of the "maternity rocks" conspiracy:)

Makes one wonder though - with the newly acquired freedom and equality that modern women/mothers have, are we allowed to treat our kids the same way men/fathers do: not necessarily adoring them to bits from day one?

Regarding your question - I suppose it is indeed one of the main topics of the book, who takes the blame and could that be avoided? The eternal question of tabula rasa vs genetic predesposition. Think it is up to every reader to decide that while reading that book, there is no yes/no question given by author.

Have a great day!

Katya